Why @ScooterMagruder Thinks the Dallas Cowboys Will Win the Super Bowl – and Why, As an Eagles Fan, I Can’t Stop Laughing

Alright, let’s get one thing straight right off the bat: I’m an Eagles fan, born and bred. So when I see Cameron Magruder, aka @ScooterMagruder, shouting to the world that the Dallas Cowboys will win the Super Bowl… I can’t help but chuckle. A lot. Like, belly-aching, tears-in-my-eyes, can’t-breathe kind of laugh. But hey, bless his heart—he’s committed, and you’ve got to respect the hustle.

Cowboys Fans: Eternal Optimists or Gluttons for Punishment?

Let’s be real for a second. Being an Eagles fan, I know a thing or two about delusion. But nothing, and I mean nothing, compares to the sheer, blind optimism of Cowboys Nation, led by none other than their hype-man-in-chief, @ScooterMagruder. Every year, this man goes full tilt, predicting a Dallas Cowboys Super Bowl victory like clockwork.

I imagine it’s part tradition, part coping mechanism. It’s like watching someone repeatedly try to get out of a revolving door but always ending up back at the entrance. Yet every time, Scooter’s there, arms wide open, screaming, “This is our year!”

But spoiler alert: It’s not.

The Dallas Cowboys’ “Super Bowl Window” is Like Bigfoot

As an Eagles fan, I’ve got to admit, it’s kinda cute. Every season begins the same way: Cowboys fans, with @ScooterMagruder leading the charge, claim they’re “stacked.” They’ll list off players: Micah Parsons this, CeeDee Lamb that, Dak Prescott’s big year… yadda, yadda, yadda. And don’t get me wrong, they’ve got talent—but let’s not pretend this isn’t the same team that manages to find new, creative ways to blow it year after year.

You know how you never actually see Bigfoot, but people swear he’s out there? That’s the Cowboys’ Super Bowl window—always just out of reach, but Cowboys fans, especially Scooter, are convinced it’s right there.

Eagles Fans Living Rent-Free in Scooter’s Head

Look, I get it. @ScooterMagruder’s optimism is pure entertainment. He has to believe the Cowboys will win the Super Bowl—otherwise, what’s the point, right? But deep down, we all know, and I’m sure somewhere in the back of his mind, Scooter knows, too: The Eagles are living rent-free in Dallas’ head, with a penthouse suite. I’m talking full-blown mortgage-free status.

I can’t help but think back to that glorious moment in 2017 when the Eagles lifted that Lombardi Trophy. Sure, @ScooterMagruder and Cowboys fans were busy watching it on TV, pretending it didn’t sting. But let’s face it: It did. And it still does.

Scooter’s Latest Declaration: Will It Age Like Wine or Milk?

Now, here we are in 2024, and once again, @ScooterMagruder is out here on social media yelling that the Dallas Cowboys will win the Super Bowl. As an Eagles fan, I’ve seen this movie before. Every year, it’s like that overly dramatic soap opera where you know the ending, but you still watch for the ridiculous twists and turns along the way.

In fact, we Eagles fans have been gracious enough to offer free tissues to Cowboys fans after each playoff meltdown. But hey, maybe @ScooterMagruder knows something we don’t. Maybe this is the year that Cowboys fans don’t crash and burn in the divisional round. (I’ll believe it when pigs fly… or Jerry Jones retires. Whichever comes first.)

Should I Be Worried? Nah, We’ve Got Jalen Hurts

I’ll admit, I’ve thought about it. Should Eagles fans be worried that the Cowboys might actually have a shot this year? And then I remember we’ve got Jalen Hurts, who’s out here looking like an MVP candidate every other week. Meanwhile, the Cowboys are still banking on Dak Prescott. Need I say more?

The reality is, while @ScooterMagruder is out here waving his Cowboys flag, we Eagles fans are quietly confident. We know what it takes to win a Super Bowl. And trust me, we’re ready to do it again—while Scooter can keep dreaming, year after year, that the Cowboys might somehow stumble into one.

In Conclusion: @ScooterMagruder, Keep the Tweets Coming

So, to my dear Cowboys friend @ScooterMagruder: Keep doing what you’re doing, man. Keep the faith, keep hyping your team, and keep giving us Eagles fans something to laugh about. Because while the Cowboys may think they’re destined for Super Bowl greatness, we all know the truth.

The Cowboys winning the Super Bowl? Now that would be the funniest thing of all.